Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
