He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
why is half of my head shaved?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize