this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
