It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
