just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
