so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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