Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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