I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
a search helicopter?!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
