Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
