Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
