what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I see more hoeing in ur future
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
