i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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