two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
