I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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