I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
