whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I intend to get homeless drunk
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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