Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
