Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
