SEEEEXXX PLEASE
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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