Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize