you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
