I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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