look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He had one of those small greek statue penises
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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