I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
