flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
