we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
