i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
