Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
