ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize