I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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