He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
