i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
