I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
