I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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