Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
