I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize