I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
