I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
