Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
