I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
