officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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