38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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