Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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