I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
