You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
