No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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