just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
