No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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