She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
