i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
