Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
