Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
