This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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