I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
