i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
