My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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